A Kiss With a Fist
by WordsThatKill
Summary: While under the influence of some heavy painkillers in Arkham's medical wing, Harley reveals to Dr Leland a side of her relationship with the Joker that nobody knows...


**A KISS WITH A FIST**

Doctor Leland was once again working late in her office, catching up on some paperwork. Dealing with the daily shenanigans of Arkham's rouges gallery, plus conducting therapy sessions, as well as overseeing all the other Doctors, nurses, and orderlies left little time for what always seemed to take the most time; paperwork. The very word made the woman sigh of exhaustion.

While glancing through the paperwork she had to approve from the medical ward, a familiar name caught Dr Leland's attention. The form was awaiting approval to switch Harley Quinn onto a new kind of pain medicine.

Upon reading further into why Harley was in the medical ward at all, Joan was surprised to find that the young former-psychiatrist had not been injured at the hands of her "loving" boyfriend as per usual, but because of her own clumsiness.

While attempting to sneak to her Puddin's cell one night by climbing through the air ducts, Harley had gotten lost. Thinking she would be trapped in there, the girl managed to kick open a section to escape, which she promptly fell out of. The poor girl had unfortunately broken out above the stairwell, and smashed back first on the railing before tumbling down the stairs.

Since the cots in the cells were far from the most comfortable things, and Harley's back was in no shape to suffer through sleeping on one, she was kept in the medical ward and given painkillers. Doctor Leland noted however that the painkillers she was given were very strong, and usually given to those with far more serious injuries. But knowing Harley, Dr Leland presumed that the Doctor gave her a heavier painkiller in hopes that it would put her to sleep quickly so she wouldn't cause any trouble.

Giving up on her paperwork, Joan decided to head down and check on Harley to make sure she was okay. She had a soft spot for her, being former colleagues after all.

Before Joan even entered the medical ward she could tell the painkillers had not put Harley to sleep, as she was greeted with a very loud and off-key rendition of "She'll be coming around the mountain"; which only stopped when Harley set eyes on Dr Leland.

"JOANIEE!" The blonde girl lit up. "We're singing camp songs, since I never got to go to camp or anything like that. But Mistah J says I'd make a hot girl scout though!" Harley laughed, lecherously. "Join in!" She continued, taking a deep breath and opening her mouth to start singing again.

Dr Leland quickly cut her off. "I just came to check on how you were Harley. I read that you had a pretty nasty fall." She explained, taking a seat beside the bed and looking her over. Harley was a bit worn for wear, but Joan had definitely had to witness Harley in far worse conditions.

Somehow whenever she saw Harley in bandages or laid up in a reclining hospital bed, her mind always wandered back to the worse shape she had ever seen the poor girl in. And Joan could remember it all too clearly. She had been working late on paperwork that night too when a sheepish orderly came into her office and explained to Leland the condition in which Harley would be returning to Arkham after the Joker had pushed her out a window.

She remembered Harley's words distinctly as well.

" _So tell me Harley…How did it feel to be so dependent on a man that you'd give up everything for him, gaining nothing but breaks and bruises in return?" Doctor Leland asked, her concern causing her to come across more bitter than intended._

 _And despite being bandaged up, exhausted, and heavily medicated, the woman replied with perfect clarity in both her eyes and her voice: "It felt like a kiss!"_

While Joan knew that, this time at least, it was not Joker's fault that Harley was bandaged up, she couldn't help but frown as she looked at her friend.

"Geez Joanie, no need to look so grim. Mr J aint the one who did this to me. It was those goddamned stairs! They're too hard!" Harley's high pitched voice drew Joan from her memories.

"Sorry Harley, I just hate seeing you like this…I just don't get….Nevermind."

And as if Harley had read her mind, the drugged up girl chuckled. "It still bugs ya huh? What I said that night that Mr J pushed me out that window."

Joan faltered a moment before slowly nodding. Even when her mind was probably rainbow colours from the painkillers, Harley was still quite perceptive. "I would be lying if I said I didn't think about it often."

Sitting back in the chair, Joan let her mask of professionalism slip a bit, seeing as this wasn't a real therapy session, and Harley would most likely not remember it the next morning anyhow. "I have to think it has something to do with your sex life, seeing as you've mentioned that you both….how to put this delicately… _get off_ on both receiving and delivering pain."

Harley giggled, smirking at Dr Leland. "Naughty Joan! Thinking about other people's sex lives on your time off. Hehe." She looked around the room excitedly, biting her lip in thought. "You're sort of right!" The young woman finally exclaimed.

"Only sort of?" Joan pressed, hoping Harley might explain a little more.

"Pain does make me feel good….But only when it comes from my Puddin! Anything else is just pain. But when it's from him…It's love."

Joan had to force herself not to roll her eyes. "How so?"

Harley's eyes suddenly glossed over, as a wave of nostalgia hit her. She breathed it in happily, letting her mind wander back to the early days with her Puddin.

"The first time we escaped Arkham together, Mistah J and I stayed up all night. Didn't get a wink of sleep. We—" But Joan cut her off with a raise of her hand.

"I really don't need the details of your sex life Harley…"

"I wasn't finished!" The blonde huffed. "We stayed up all night _talking_. Granted there was a lot of HA-HA first, but after that, it was all talking. See Mistah J was concerned about his reputation and how it might change having a gal at his side. I told him – Don't you worry Mistah J! No one in their right minds would think you any weaker for that! I said- You're so magnificent, you could wear all pink and carry puppies and every one would still fear and respect ya!"

Harley then looked over at Joan, the glossiness of her eyes now because she was holding back tears. Joan wanted to reach out and gently place her hand over Harley's, but before she could Harley turned away and resumed her story.

"You know what he said to me, Joan?" Harley asked, her voice more serious than Dr Leland had heard in years. "'He said- I'm not worried about me. It's you.' He said 'I got a lot of enemies out there dollface, and they're ganna look at you as a target. Some of them might even try to hurt or kill you to get back at me.' I laughed and shook my head, and I tried to tell him that I could take care of myself, but he didn't smile…. 'There aint no joke in other people hurting you. Especially not because I got a soft spot for you, kid.' He says."

Harley looked at Joan again, a soft smile on her lips. "I couldn't stand to see the Joker…My Joker...always so happy, always with a smile… frowning because of me." Joan held her breath, sensing this was getting serious.

"So I got up and smashed my face against the door handle until Puddin stopped me."

Joan gasped, and Harley chuckled darkly. "You should have seen the look of shock on Mistah J's face! It was so worth the black eye…."

"But Harley….why?" Joan asked, horrified. She was beginning to put the pieces together.

"I told Mistah J that he had to hit me… That he had to call me names…Treat me exactly the horrible way that everyone expect a 'monster' like him to treat a lady. That way no one would think he cared about me…And no one would try to hurt me to get back at him."

"It was your idea… " Joan breathed, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Mistah J wasn't too happy about it at first…But he came around to the idea once he started looking at it as a joke. But the first time he snapped at me in front of the guys, and made me cry, he held me in his arms that whole night whispering things like 'thank you' and 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' while I nursed my dislocated jaw. But it got easier after a while."

Doctor Leland was still in disbelief. "It's…all….fake?"

Harley was quiet for a while. "Quite the gag huh?" She finally said, and then looked away a sniffle giving away that she was holding back tears.

"Harley…" Joan comforted softly. But suddenly Harley began laughing uncontrollably.

"But you know Mistah J and his jokes! He goes full out- really commits! It's part of why I love him really!"

Joan suddenly understood. "The joke continued even when no one else was around." She stated. "He….grew to like it."

"To be honest….I think he forgot it was a gag….Sometimes….Sometimes after he'd hit me, or beat me up really bad, and I'd still smile and tell him I love him, he'd just….look at me. This look of utter astonishment. Like he didn't understand why I stayed or how I could possibly smile and tell someone who just tried to kill me that I love them."

With the Joker's commitment to his role, and the damage the chemicals must have done to his brain, Joan didn't find it at all hard to believe that Joker had become so engrossed in the role of abusing Harley that he forgot it was a role at all.

"Don't get me wrong, Joanie….I became accustomed to pain. And it really does feel good now. And not just because it gets us in the mood…But because every hit and every name came from a need to protect me. To keep me safe. To love me. Every kick is like a hug… When he calls me a worthless dame, all I hear is 'I love you'….Every punch or slap is like—"

"—A Kiss." Joan finished, staring down at the ground.

"Yeah."

There was a long moment of silence between the two women, until Joan stood up. "I think I should probably get back to work…" She began, looking up and noticing that the drugs had finally knocked Harley out.

Doctor Leland pulled the bedsheets over Harley, wiping a few stray tears from her cheeks before heading back to her office. As she stared at her computer she debated typing the information up and adding it to Harley's file, but Joan couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Harley was pretty heavily drugged up, and would most likely have never told her all that if she were completely lucid.

With a final sigh, Joan turned the computer off and headed home for the evening. She decided that the words exchanged between her and Harley tonight would never be mentioned again. It just wasn't right to betray Harley like that. And while this new information didn't make Dr Leland approve of how Joker acted, it certainly made her feel more sympathetic and understanding towards Harley.

She finally understood why it upset Harley so much when people insinuated that the Joker didn't love her. Because in Harley's mind, it was saying she was getting beaten and abused for no reason. That all her patience and sacrifice meant nothing.

Above all, whether Joker's abuse was an act or real, Joan was now utterly convinced that Harley Quinn had to be the strongest person she knew…

 _ **The End.**_


End file.
